CHILDREN: - What A Child Wants Part 4 - Little things count
Society presents various misguided points of view about what children truly need from their parents. Most parents harbour feelings of guilt & inadequacy sometimes when they start measuring themselves against those opinions. I thought to address some core desires that I can remember from being a child, being part of a large extended family & raising my own. I've been one of the lucky ones.
By: Stefnie Meyer
24 January 2018
SMALL THINGS COUNT
What is the use of having skill, talents and accomplishments if we can’t share it?
Isn’t that what purpose is all about?
Isn’t that, at the core, all jobs’ and all businesses’ role? – to be of service?
If you would be the ONLY person on the planet, you wouldn’t need to do much other than gather food and maintain your shelter. . . yes?
Purpose therefore is about an inherent desire to make a contribution to LIFE. We thrive on acts of kindness, being valued and acknowledged.
Being self-absorbed, selfish, and giving in to self-pity shrinks your world. As a result of fear, it’s a lonely and joyless state of being and it blocks the “sluices of your dam”. This compares well with the example of the Dead Sea. It only receives water, there is no outflow. The sun evaporates the water, leaving the mineral content so high that only salt crystals grow there – there is no other life.
Giving and Sharing is not about giving up things that matter to you. It’s not about sacrificing anything or leaving oneself depleted and in want. Just like a dam, we give from the overflow – we keep the sluices open.
Giving is tied to the belief that the Universe has an endless supply of everything I require to THRIVE in life and that there is no end to it. There is no fear of not having enough or “just surviving”. Receiving and giving, giving and receiving – that’s the natural flow of things.
Another problem is that we miss-identify or discount our value and deprive the world of a precious gift. We look at GREATNESS as being a king or queen, a sports hero, movie star, a Mandela, Oprah Winfrey or Mother Theresa.
What about the gifts of kindness, respect, compassion and being mindful of other’s needs?
Having the awareness of someone’s needs and caring about it might appear ‘a small thing’. What about:
• Holding a door open for an older person – or a younger person
• Smiling at a cashier
• Reading to a poor sighted person
• Rubbing someone’s tired feet
• Being kind to the lonely child at school
• Sharing your lunch with somebody who has none
• Helping a class mate with maths when you are good at it
• The magical “please” and “thank you” expressed with sincerity
THESE are no small things; these are the foundation of making the world a joyous place!
We have to show our children that small things count – a lot. No matter how insignificant we THINK our gift is.
The only way I know to comfort people is with hugs, yet I never thought much about it until a lady approached me at a meeting with “I hear you are the go-to person for hugs? ‘So-and-so’ said I need one of your magical hugs, I’m really not in a good place”. I’m told that one of my hugs and stroking a back melts away the tension and are very nurturing. Now, how can I ever look at this gift as insignificant? I practise it with enthusiasm.
As we experience life, we build our unique résumé for the contribution that we are. EVERYTHING in life we experience is leading us to be the phenomenally unique Contributors to LIFE that we are.
We create a database of knowledge, skill, insight and a point of view unique to us that leads us to our rare awareness of possibilities pertaining to our field of ‘expertise’. Each individual collects these bits and bobs throughout life; things we might consider insignificant but in the “Bigger Scheme of Things” create our gift and purpose.
By encouraging our children to be mindful of others and the world around them, they’ll experience that the world provides infinite possibilities to play at life in exciting and unexpected ways. If something doesn’t work, we ask the questions, find something different that does and keep finding more ways for it to work even better. They will experience that no skill or task is more important than another. They will build confidence and trust in their abilities. For example
Tinkering in the soil, pulling weeds and tending a garden is THEM:
- Contributing to the family’s food needs
- Respecting our home planet and resources
- Gathering insight that could lead to innovating inventions – who knows?
Encouraging and applauding them to help the elderly neighbour in his garden not only satisfies:
- his own sense of self but
- teaches community participation where everybody matters
- they learn to communicate and interact with others
- They learn to make allowances for the diversity in people.
Every big tree starts as a very small seed, buried under compost . . . . what humble but nurturing beginnings.
Small things do count – a lot!